I hate your face
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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