make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
