shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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