idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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