last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
