It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
