apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
