thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
as a side note pls kill me
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
