we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize