she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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