Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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