ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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