he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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