So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
