Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
