in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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