??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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