how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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