You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
