Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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