After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
