OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
