i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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