The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
