Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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