I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
