worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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