She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I will pee on everything he values.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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