Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
