Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
