This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
