belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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