So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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