we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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