I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
