oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
did i walk over a car last night?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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