I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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