dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
