What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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