Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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