i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
