Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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