the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
