Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
