Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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