There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i drank out of a bidet.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
