I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
