Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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