yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
