Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize