Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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