The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
