You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
