its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
