can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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