I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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