Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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