But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
