Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I want you more than these girls want KFC
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
