he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
