Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
