great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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