Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
