I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize