my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
