They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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