we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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