remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Randomize
