After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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