I murdered the dance floor call the cops
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
